Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Let's toss the old pigskin around

Posted by: Kate

This is the post that will lose us our vegan and vegetarian readership.  Part of learning to tattoo is actually doing it, and we have to resort to tried and trusted methods: we are going to be practicing on pig skin, as it is the closest thing to human skin.


When we were offered some pig skin by a guy-who-knows-a-guy, we were kind of expecting cute little pink squares of ham-scented skin.  Instead, we were given a garbage bag full of a crumpled, deflated pig, from snout to tail.  But we're not looking a gift pig-sack in the mouth.  We're very grateful to have it, because after doing some research, I found out that it is in fact very difficult to obtain human skin.  And Dave's terrible at the tuck.


We set to work carving up sheets and stacking them in the freezer.  Dave is already planning to tattoo the map to dry land from Waterworld, and I am going to do the scalp treasure map from Cutthroat Island.  After mastering maps we'll branch out into other more marketable genres.


Here is the finished product ready to be frozen.  Don't mind the lotion, I forgot to put it away in the basket.

3 comments:

  1. Did you know this?
    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ba5fd32f31/kristen-bell-s-body-of-lies?rel=player

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  2. Is this where I tell you I used to deliver human skin? Every day, I had to deliver the skin of flayed human beings who, I guess, had donated their bodies to science. Each box weighed 40-70 pounds (depending on the original size of the donor), and I had 20-100 boxes on my truck each day. I would take them to a company called Lifecell, which stripped the fat from the skin, then freeze-dried the skin in 9" square sheets they'd send to plastic surgeons. Sometimes they just shipped out the squares as sample packs. If only I'd known you would someday need the skin, I could have saved a box that "fell off the truck."

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    Replies
    1. The dog looks very interested, very.
      Did he/she get any?
      Matthew, that has to be one of the weirdest jobs I've ever heard of. I can imagine being stopped by a cop and he asks, so what's in the truck?

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