Okay, Dave, time for me to drink your tears of humiliation. This is how a creepy doll painting is really done, and not with any of your silly graphite transfer bullcrap either. Real men paint directly onto the canvas with indelible lines of brazen confidence.
With each bold stroke I demarcate my boundaries of form and sweep away your crushed self-esteem.
Yeah, that's right. My drawing's not even accurate. I spit on accuracy.
Now this is an ébauche, You see how I just slap that paint up there like it ain't no thang? Don't worry. Someday I will teach you.
Yeah, I know you thought you ordered that Vermilion from Natural Pigments for yourself, but it's been hanging out in my tabouret and it likes it there.
Second painting. BAM.
Shhh. I know you can't help it, but dry your tears, love. I can't let you win every time.