Tuesday, February 28, 2012

10 Jobs I would rather have than a fine artist

Kate and I always hear from people how they would do anything to be the kind of artists that Kate and I are, though I never understood why. There are so many other more interesting and useful jobs on the market. To make these people feel a bit better, here is a list of 10 jobs that I would rather have than being a fine artist.

1. Vampire Hunter (like Blade but without the lame tribal tattoos)

2. Cage Fighter (no lie, I always wanted to be a professional Mixed Martial Artist, but that thing called my physique always kept me back)

3. Cult Leader (everyone would worship me and white robes are really comfortable)

4. Time Traveler (though I don't know how you would receive an income from this....unless you were a "Timecop" like Van Damme)

5. Judge on a reality show (because eliminating people in front of an entire nation is awesome)

6. An X-Men (and one with awesome powers, not crappy ones like Toad's. I always wanted Kate to have Mystiques powers, but what if she got mad at me and turned into Charles Bronson when we were kissing. I don't think I could handle that scenario.)

7. Bikini inspector (like that needs an explanation)

8. Running Back for the Steelers (because 100,000 people never simultaneously cheer on an artist)

9. A Jedi (because I would use the mind control trick to get free food and choke the people in line that spend forever deciding what pizza toppings they want)

10. Corrupt warden at a futuristic prison (don't ask me to explain this one)


  1. Those are all excellent choices. If you do become a time traveler you need to know that it is actually pretty easy to make money. I usually just go to the track and see which horses are winning in real time, then it's really easy to go back a few minutes and place my bets. You can do it with lotto numbers too but that's kind of showoffy.

  2. I enjoy reading your blog Here's some thoughts about your list, line by line:

    1. What's a vampire hide worth?

    2. Have you tried a bird cage?

    3. White robes ARE really comfortable.

    4. I wouldn't worry about income. I'd just keep going back in time to when I still had money in the bank.

    5. They have those "reality shows" all over the world now, including France, where I guess they don't eliminate people with guillotines anymore.

    6. That would be worse than painting.

    7. Where would you put the "inspected by" tag?

    8. Unless you're only running back to the line of scrimmage. Then 100,000 people might simultaneously boo you.

    9. I don't eat pizza. Does that mean I couldn't be a Jedi?

    10. Thanks for not explaining that one.

  3. Damn I love the people that follow this blog.

  4. Just found your Blog. You had me at Steelers Running back!

  5. How about artist/time traveler? Go back in time, commission Rubens or Rembrandt, go forward in time sell "lost" masterworks, and then paint what ever you please in as manly a fashion as possible.