10 Helpful Studio Secrets to Make Your Paintings Better

1. Keep art books in the bathroom. That way you will seek inspiration for at least 5 minutes a day; twice that if you eat at Taco Bell.

2. Time your breaks. I don't do this, but you should.

3. Don't overeat at lunch. It's so much more challenging to paint on an overly full stomach. However, if there is an all you can eat Golden Panda Buffet around, then you pretty much have to get your moneys worth.

4. Eat lots of red meat in your diet. The power gained from red meat will give you better cognition and increase the measurable testosterone levels in your painting. Leonardo da Vinci ate 2 pounds of veal a day.

5. Don't listen to smooth jazz when you paint, it makes you pretentious and makes it feel like you are painting in an elevator or "on hold."

6. Play an instrument. In the renaissance, Albrect Durer wrote that it was important to play a musical instrument to balance out the humors. Plus girls are way more impressed by guys who can play the guitar over guys who can paint.

7. Just because something says its "natural" on a painting product doesn't mean its not dangerous. Cobra venom is technically natural.

8. Photo document your paintings progress so you can look back at what you did in the future. What, you were expecting another joke? Its a good idea.

9. Be critical of your work. Ask yourself if this is truly a good work of art or is it the beer talking.

10. Don't waste your time on stupid blogs. Yeah, I probably should have put that one first.